The Driving Polarity Needs
"Life is the coexistence of all opposite values. Joy and sorrow, pleasure and pain, up and down, hot and cold, here and there, light and darkness, birth and death. All experience is by contrast, and one would be meaningless without the other."
Deepak Chopra
While we can't ignore basic human physiological needs such as food, clothing and shelter, these aren't the needs we are focused on. We are more interested in the Driving Polarity Needs. These are so called because they are made up of one Driving Need that underlines 4 polar opposite Needs.
The polar opposite needs are aligned to the Yin Yang theory. With the Polarity Needs there are no absolutes and each exist within each other. They may seem contradictory but they create balance and you cannot achieve harmony by having one without the other.
Driving Need - The need for Purpose
Polarity 1 - The need for Structure and Polarity 2 - The need for Change
Polarity 3 - The need for Self and Polarity 4 - The need for Belonging
Driving Need - The need for Purpose
This is called the Driving Need as it is the driving force that underpins the Polarity Needs.
No matter what you do, how you do it, when you do it - there is a why, an Intention underneath all your behaviour. As a human being you have a need for Purpose. That who you are and what you do has meaning.
One of your major purposes in life is to create. Therefore part of the need for Purpose is the need for Creativity. People need to create. We're not just talking about artistic expression but the need to create relationships, the need to create a family, the need to create time so you can do your taxes. And the essence of this Creativity is Growth. It can be physical, mental, emotional, and/or spiritual growth.
So what is your Purpose?
It's not something you have to discover although you may - but it's something you can definitely create!
Polarity 1 - The need for Structure
You need to have structure in your life. From waking up in the morning to going to work to having dinner at night and going to sleep - it's all about structure. There is comfort in knowing that the person who was your mother today is still going to be your mother tomorrow.
Having structure allows stability in an ever increasingly changing world. You more than crave structure - you need it. Your brain is designed for structure, it takes in something new and novel and categorises it so that it can easily recognise it again later. Structure provides security.
Polarity 2 - The need for Change
The polar opposite of structure is the need for change. You need variety in your life otherwise your life just becomes a repeat of the same events over and over again like in the movie Groundhog Day.
Knowing how the brain works you must actively look for ways of doing things different and new experiences. This is creativity in action and this stimulus leads to growth.
Too much Structure creates boredom. Too much Change creates chaos.
Hence we need a balance of both for harmony.
Polarity 3 - The need for Self
You need a sense of self-worth, a feeling that you are important and competent in what you do. You have a need to feel accepted for who you are as a person and that you are unique and are living a life of meaning.
Polarity 4 - The need for Belonging
The polar opposite of self is the need for belonging. You need a sense of belonging to a group, friends, family and an intimate relationship. As a human being, you need to gather in groups and have a sense of community. It is even better when you are involved with like-minded people in your group.
Too much Self creates loneliness. Too much Belonging creates a lack of identity.
Hence we need a balance of both for harmony.